Cookiecutter Shark (warning: even more content of graphic human injury)
they are exactly as fucked up as they look.
I’m really busy this weekend so let’s dive right into it shall we
these little fuckers you see above are nasty vicious little shits. They get up to 42 - 56 cm (17 - 22 in) long, and they bite massive chunks out of absolutely anything they can sink their freaky-as-fuck teeth into.
somehow they’re even scarier outside their heads
they have a suction cup mouth, and they latch onto their prey with it, then bite down and tear off a circular plug of flesh. Obviously, this is where they get the name from; they leave neat little holes in their victims, cut out like cookies from dough.
*shivering*
with their mouths closed, they’re really quite boring. They’re part of the dogfish family of sharks, which tend to be smaller. Interestingly, though, they bioluminesce. Their bellies glow, even for several hours after their death. The theory is that their victims mistake them for prey and come after the light, only to find the fucking jaws of death waiting for them.
they look deceptively normal from this angle huh
they live in the warmer oceans all over the world, in the deep sea–as deep as 2.3 miles (3.7 km), coming up close to the surface at dusk and going back to the depths as dawn approaches.
doesn’t feel great knowing theY’RE DOWN THERE THO
the million-dollar question, of course, is: do they attack humans? We know they eat squids small enough to swallow, and they do that to other fish and sharks, and that whales, dolphins and even seals fall victim to their creepy corkscrew maw. But will they come after humans, who shouldn’t naturally be on the menu? Well, you all saw the content warning, so you know what’s coming next.
short answer: yes.
long answer: fuck yes they fucking will because they're fucking assholes