Sociopathy
Are You the Target of a Sociopath? Part I of 2
Anti-social personalities want to dominate people. Don’t let it be you.
Posted Mar 09, 2018 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Have you ever wondered if someone purposefully wants to take advantage of you, maybe someone you don’t even know or just recently met?
There are many people with difficult personalities who can impact your life. But sociopaths have one of the most hidden personality disorders (antisocial personality disorder), and one of the most dangerous. They slip under our radar because they put so much energy into deceiving us. But most people don’t know what to watch out for and are shocked at how they can be manipulated. Anyone can be a target.
For the past 30 years, I have worked with clients who were dealing with people with difficult personalities, as a therapist, lawyer and high-conflict consultant. I am still surprised and concerned about how many people are shocked by the behavior of people they thought they knew. In my posts and my books, I want to warn you about dangerous personalities, let you know how to identify them quickly, and share what to do if you have to deal with them.
People with antisocial personalities can be highly effective at getting you to overlook the warning signs you see or sense. That’s why they’re called con artists: They take you into their confidence. You doubt yourself and trust them.
In a dating relationship, a sociopath may be the most loving, charming, affectionate and giving person you have ever met. But it’s too good to be true: They may be secretly dating several other women or men. They may use one person’s credit card to buy flowers for another. They can be promiscuous and loyal to no one.
They are also fast talkers. To cover up secret activities, they may say, “I do some contract work for the CIA, but I can’t tell you anything about it. I’ll be gone all next week on a secret mission. I really, really wish I could tell you about it, but I can’t. And don’t ever ask me.” Or they may quickly lose interest in you, but keep you hanging on with a few words of love, so that they can still have sex with you, borrow money from you (which won’t be returned) and maintain access to your house or car.
They may even marry several women (or men) at the same time. (While most sociopaths are men, approximately 25 percent are women.) In marriage, they may pretend they are going to work at the office, when they’re actually going out to deal drugs. Or they may be stealing money from your father’s company. They may be seeing several other women (or men) for sex, or secretly using an escort service. Or gambling away their paycheck, then saying they were robbed. All of these activities have gone on under the radar for hundreds of people in these relationships. The targets are always shocked, because the sociopath was so good at living a lie. But that’s what they do.
In some cases, they have married in order to have access to a teenage daughter for sex while mom is at work. In at least one case, the teenage daughter fell in love with her abuser because he was so persuasive. Finally, she helped put him in jail, so that no one else would go through what she did.
At work, they may steal inventory and re-sell it. They may cook up lucrative schemes as a business owner. As a supervisor, they may bully employees until they quit. Or they may bully their new supervisor, especially if they are older and more experienced at the job and think they can get away with it. If confronted about it by upper management, they will often successfully claim innocence.
In a neighborhood, one woman resented losing out to another couple on a bid to buy a new house. So she placed an ad saying that she had a secret fantasy of having a stranger come to her house and aggressively seducing her in the front doorway. She gave the address of the house she wanted to buy and gave the best times when the new woman owner would be home alone. Then a man who saw the ad attempted to fulfill this “fantasy,” by assaulting the woman who answered the door. Somehow it was traced back to the neighbor and she gave the excuse that she was under stress because she had a disabled adult child. The jury didn’t buy it and sent her to prison.
Any Occupation
They can be criminals, con artists, drug dealers, human traffickers, or serial rapists. But they can also be politicians, Wall Street traders, CEOs, business owners, lawyers, police, soldiers, housewives, doctors, teachers, priests, contractors, therapists, or social workers. They can be extremely smart, like serial killer Ted Bundy, or extremely not smart. And they could be one of your family members. They represent as much as 4 percent of the U.S. population, which would be one in 25 people.
Playing the Victim
Many sociopaths will tell you a story about how someone else took advantage of them, or life circumstances treated them very badly. You will feel sorry for them. You will want to help them. But this is a ploy to help them prey on normal, healthy people who naturally care and want to help a stranger. For example, Bundy used to put a fake cast on his arm or leg, then drop a bunch of books by an isolated young woman on a college campus. He would ask them to help him carry his books back to his car, then when they leaned into the car to put the books in the back seat, he would shove them inside.
Getting Revenge
Sociopaths who are also high-conflict people (HCPs) can be especially dangerous. HCPs are preoccupied with blaming others, have all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions that drive their behavior and engage in extreme behavior that 90 percent of people would never do. Sociopathic HCPs are preoccupied with blaming a “Target of Blame” for not accepting their dominance. They may seek to punish them in ways that are particularly vicious and sometimes fatal. While some sociopaths do not have Targets of Blame (their targets may be banks, art museums, or internet sites), most are potential HCPs because they can become so outraged at anyone who stands in the way of something they want. For example, a teenage sociopath wanted the coat that another teenager was wearing. When the owner wouldn’t give it up, the sociopath killed her and took it.
Two of the worst stories I have read, which surely involved sociopaths, took place in marriages. In one case, a wife had an affair and apparently was thinking of leaving her sociopathic husband. He was furious, so he decided to pour on the charm to keep her in the marriage. Then, he told her he wanted to have a child with her, and they did. Then, when the child was 2, he killed the child as his punishment for her affair and for wanting independence from his control.
In one divorce case, a sociopathic woman decided that she needed to get sole custody of her 3-year old son. She lured her separated husband to have sex with her one day. After he left, she scooped out some of his semen and put it in the boy’s anus. A medical exam and DNA test quickly discovered the father’s “sexual abuse” of the child, and his life was ruined.
Conclusion
I don’t want to scare you, but rather inform you of this pattern of deception, lies, and extreme behavior without remorse. Awareness and a healthy skepticism will help you protect yourself and your loved ones.
In Part 2, I share tips for identifying them quickly and dealing with them if you must.
Psychopath
For over 40 years. I've dealt with the public and now that I'm retired I keep reading more more on Psychopaths thank you for your article
Masters of Deception
The use and stereotype of a woman using her adult daughter whom has a disability as an excuse due to, she was under stress, to cover for herself, while she targeted a neighbour whom bought a house in the same area, is a bad example, in my opinion. It could be reversed and used as an excuse against her, for the house she bought herself in the same neighbourhood. Not good and not fair. Women are trying to do the best they can in this world already, without that.
Women are human beings, too,
Women are human beings, too, and capable of good or evil, like all humans. It's important to be aware of the disconnection from morality that sociopaths have which causes them to hurt other people, and be aware of how dangerous they are because of their amorality. It wasn't an attack on women, it was the exposing of the actions of a sociopath, and I've never heard of a stereotype of a woman getting revenge by causing another woman to be sexually assaulted and then trying to pretend that's a normal response to stress in front of a jury. That's not a stereotype. I wonder if you're a woman who is a sociopath or narcissist and just doesn't like having sociopathic traits exposed in an article. I'm not saying you are because I don't know you but that's probably what people will wonder reading your comment.
Anonymous wrote:
The use and stereotype of a woman using her adult daughter whom has a disability as an excuse due to, she was under stress, to cover for herself, while she targeted a neighbour whom bought a house in the same area, is a bad example, in my opinion. It could be reversed and used as an excuse against her, for the house she bought herself in the same neighbourhood. Not good and not fair. Women are trying to do the best they can in this world already, without that.
Are u aware of the tea party
Are u aware of the tea party effect? are u capable of leting go of the geender lense ? Look at how convaluted qualified a length all because some women dont do that while some women do? But u even stated the rest more all praise womyn
Women are trying to do the best
She speaks for all
Or at lease one of the di did did?
Nah o have no idea here. That would be insane for me to claim i just kinda liked the letter play .. tye only real point i wanted to make was
Abuse of children is mothers more often than fathers..esp when custody us riggged like it is at the moment
Saying Women are trying to do the best
is like ...ugh i sorta hope u troll ..hope im bot chompimg om bait here but ...
Its like multiole indications something is seriously wack in your mood at the moment u typed this or possibly thought process , diagnosed as pd ot otherwise but mets look at the logic here
Theres no reliable studeiess evedence or theories rhat say men or women are any less or moe moral , giod bad etc.
Some well controlled studdies have found brains varry structure wise vmore on personality type.. like easy to spot (i dont want to pull bs percents from my ass)
Where as geneder ti gender other than size, which also varries person to person...the info i trust (it was well structured controls accounted for errors all that stuff we learn once million years ago when marie curry roamed rhe earth. Or rather her own lab anf office at the university of paris ) sci mthor peer reviewed etc
Dr john t mannings work if i recsll correctly and in the meta sense also supports the claim im making or rather claims
Gender is a really arbitrary lense
Gender plays no direct role in morality
Theres a bunch of your probably well meaning but hurt and misguided sisters that have more in comon with any man u encounter that day than u..again stupid lense at all
But applied back lets see how u do at considerinf it relative to other plights ... lets see.. the bad g...
But u are cretiqing what before aserting all womeb try best?
How can u kow that
I watched friend get girl preg like a decade ago now.. well...not watched but..gigity ..girl was sr im hs he was 2nd year college. She lived in a trailer under the sea... absorbent and yellow and damn...
She lived in a trailer with her mom. Her mom was on child support board
I watched my friend have to drop out and work 2 jobs whupe still struggling for quite a while... meanwhile whem mom entered the university the next year.. virtually every weekend amd sometimesfriday through sun...
That girl is hetting plastard while her mom plays daycare and my friend cant even aford to be in school.
Women are people. Some are shit. Some dangrous some abusers some are abused and engered.
If u can dial back the jump to conclusions blow up minute .. turn off tjr tv turn off what ever, have a convilo where no one is right or wromg and if u find yourself screaming secist or what ever percentage of that above.. walk away from the cult.. even if you fins ypur self on it...
Due to feminism yall have god zilla rights im most states compsred to men
And in eliminating charges for false reports have both helped court system have job securtiy and enabled a nation where if u are falsely accused.. the burden of proof is on u and often u ate trying to disprove she FELT scared. Its such a perversion of justice rhat we mifht as well not worry abput russia invading . She ususaly canf objectively prove she felt it either . Like unless ekg was attached before this couple had an argument ?
These laws make dead and destroyed holess people robbed blind for acusations sans even a scratch.
My mom tried to push me ocer a rsiling on 2018 whem o moved bsck in st age 30..why 8 mo of bleeding..which contibed..16 total..
Till hotel . Gone bleed no more .. except now professionally proven but gaslit mold issue ., cause of my bleeding /first 8mo of hell likely theor house.. cosmos cat had died. I had traveled down and slept bext to him whem he was sick.. found black mold across from clothes washer in bathroom in apt..on move out. Aka roght where my clothes went when i aroved back at my place after a night woth my ding friens.. just so happens 1 in 3 peolle seem ti be more mold sensitive. My dad lies theough teeth though, his derm forgot his script ans sends with me.. steroidal eye drops.. ueah dad ask me again "why are u the onlu one effected before denying mold pro"
They used false reports 2 on one vs their only child.. got police to assist in 0 notice i dont kive there anymore... can i file theft? Ypu gave them your stuff moving out... uh?!
Worked since age 13 did a website for a small bizz
Then mc dons target, nat cam exchange and a mortgage refi cpmpanu even becore leaving hs..
Yet cops let parents put me in mental eard by tsking car from 3rd hotels lot agter surpirse tou dont live ther 6mo after moving everythibf in..
Was like nov.. i was working for pay online from hotel 530pm cars gone...un known to me they are hacing 50x8 ft of wall ripped out 1500 carpet and pad .. they tale care to use lamguage of already spun tound by socieos to get mental hold
Was 30 no record of antthint byut speesing tickets ..at 29 even had good credit
I hadd email with mold pro on my phone docs from extermination at apt
Pateints aent allowed phones on the ward
...redacted... for delusions of mold and bugs, taking it out on your elderly parents 10 min and denying or refusing...not a matk on me vss 16mo bleeding expert testimony...
I get out and psrents send pic pf remedisted basment a few hrs after
They then force me into leaese whwrr they picked... snow bloes through car as it starts.. its my car they say bit no reasom to transfer title.. "ha u think u could buy or sell a car?"
Yeah... u cam argue mh bad for not habing a car i owned rather tham given. I paid for 45 days in europe summer i graduated hs
Thay very easily vould have bought any of the cars thst for padt 1p years were mine and no reason to test it. Buying a car ehen u ahave one that runs fine and u can do maintence on... this hasnt been an issue till being wrogn about their house put rhem in hell rage mode
They are going to kill me
They waited till lease was up had tslen carm.mmarch 2020 both parents that live 45miles away..still wirh all my stuff... dc restraining orsers court an hr and a half away.. they took the fricking car
The victim speaks
I was shocked to find out that my therapist is a sociopath. He has been “influencing” everyone in my life for years behind my back. He took all my social contacts for himself. He ruined my life because of his fragile ego. Who would think a therapist would hurt their own client? I am living a nightmare. No one will help me.
Victim of a Sociopath
Thank you so much for this article. Unfortunately I was a sexually assulted by a former female employee and her boyfriend. If I only had this article as a guide 90% I would not be a victim. I will have my children to read this article who are now young professionals to help them guide all professional and Friendships with Discernment and wisdom and not feel guilty or allow anyone to make them feel obligated because they give a sad story. Thank You again
Teressa Brown.
Bad Samaritan
For example, Ted Bundy used to put a fake cast on his arm or leg, then drop a bunch of books by an isolated young woman on a college campus. He would ask them to help him carry his books back to his car, then when they were leaning into the car to put the books in his back seat, he would shove them into the car.
There should be a "Bad Samaritan" law. Unlike unconstitutional hate crimes which punish thought, a Bad Samaritan charge is an additional severe penalty for creating false or emergency situations requiring the help of strangers. It can easily be argued that turds like Bundy wounded social trust, making strangers less likely to help in emergencies.
Part 2?
What happened to part 2 of this? Seems to have vanished.
Article on Are you a target of a sociopath?
I read your article on "Are You The Target Of A Sociopath?"
It was an excellent article and the information was most valuable.
My observation is that most people, that I have encountered including myself, have a difficult time believing that these people are without empathy or remorse. These two qualities are significant in order to be a human being. So, my question is who are these people? (anti-social, sociopaths and psychopaths). I understand their brains are wired differently, how does this happen?
My Thoughts
Great article. I think however that the percentage is much greater than that, I'd risk, at least a 10% of the population and growing and it also depends on where you live. I have the "privilege" of having been born Colombian, then living in the states for about 5 years, then returning to Colombia, because I missed my "loving" family. Later I married some woman, who gave all the signs but I missed them all. Long story short, I know understand my roots much better, have not recovered from a horrible break up and can't seem to find very nice people around, specially women. It seems everybody just fakes love to get something out of you. Then you are disposed like a used piece of rag.
Psychopath
You really can't tell a psychopath by shaking their hand for the first time
Sociopath
Excellent article-I was the target of a sociopath-she had gone to high school with me (over 40 years ago) and recently approached me and asked if I would put her handmade trinkets and cards in my store. I told her I could not because of the theft potential I did not want to be responsible for it. I believe she got insulted by this because about 2 weeks later she looked me up on FB and friended, not me-but my husband-then she gradually(over the course of 3 months) slowly drew him in by playing his friend & then loving every post he made, and then requesting his help because she was the victim of another person she did "work for" and they wouldn't pay her for her services-never specifying what she did for the other person...eventually they traded phone numbers and then she went in for the kill-laying on the heavy "oh my, I never could do this by myself...you are so smart" and texting/messaging all hours of day and night..I had no clue until a text message came through one night when I was sitting near his phone-and he was vague about how they became friends. Immediately suspicious-I don't believe in coincidence... I recorded and taped all their messages to each other over the next week. It seemed she wanted to have an affair with him and he had no clue, he thought he was helping her with a legal problem that someone owed her $$ and they had taken advantage of the fact she was single and alone...She many times told him "We think so much alike & things happen for a reason" indicating they were meant for each other-especially after I mentioned he needed to drop her from contacts, and he told her. Next she started with "I was just thinking the same thing-that's Amazing and magic" statements. I showed him all their messages that I had recorded (copied/pasted) & he realized he was being played...dropped her like a hot potato (actually he ghosted her)-she tried to contact him over the course of the next three weeks (friending his friends-and their wives) in an attempt to be able resume the "friendship" but he had blocked her so she could not get in touch...bottom line I am not sure if she has moved on or if I need to be doubly cautious because she lost a game....What do you think? I understand ghosting is actually more psychologically harmful than saying goodbye ... and am wondering if she will strike again in a different manner...
Article on Are you a target of a sociopath?
My personal experience and observation of others who have been the victims of the abuse of sociopaths; WARNING!
A sociopath is capable of always finding ways to make you their target. Avoid all conversations, contact, and move if possible. Many sociopaths are dangerous and the game for them is finding ways to make you suffer. They are experts at covering their tracks, and skillful at manipulation. BEWARE, of the possibilities and protect yourself.
sociopath target
Good advise, but since I cannot move how do I know when she may strike again. I am fairly certain she will-somehow try to attack me again-socios don't like losing. I feel like I should confront her.
Never confront a sociopath
It's more beneficial to "blow smoke", as they call it. Remain neutral, or even seem supportive when you must talk to them. Stay as dis-engaged with them as possible, but be as pleasant as possible in unavoidable encounters. Any suggestion of criticism will just set them back on the attack. I had to learn that the hard way.
Be pleasant/neutral, and stay as far away as you can. They have nothing to hook onto this way. My take. Best wishes to you.
Bad behavior to feel good
Bad behavior to feel good about themselves and doing legal crimes and enjoy not to be caught. It seems is if they never get punished for their crimes they did. Never be ashamed of it but laugh when they hurt somebody. They can copycat a soulmate of you to get better of it without to mean it. Play a role and know where you are searching for and play a copycat of what you want to see or want to hear without to mean it and after that they use it against you to get and to feel better of it. Your battle and struggle and suffering and going against it is fuel for them. . . .
They can look very
They can look very confidential conservative with sweet words to flatter and it is if they are magicians ilusionists act properly while it is not so. They are like Hollywood actors playing a role without to mean it with glib speech and with a feeling of relax and with a realm of light. I think they can"t play a role with a character like a real Hollywood actor can. When you play a role you must be an empathetic person who is real and alive. The devil comes like an angel of light is said in the bible. The devil is a fallen angel who wants to be god but the devil has n"t got an etarnal life on earth. God has won from the devil. Jesus refused seducement from the devil. He could get everything from the devil but did n"t listen to the devil.
bible says about sociopath and th devil
I really liked what you said about th bible, I was a stone cold atheist for many years but now I'm a great granny, I realize that of course I was wrong...th bible also says Satan prowls th earth as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, I think k it is important to realize that this life is school, we often suffer to learn, th devil is already a defeated enemy, he cannot. Even move against us unless God allows it, for our LEARNI G, arits like th new song gospel roc K SAYS when th pressure is on. God is making STRONG BRIGHT diamonds out of us. Not our carbon bodie . But our spirit/souls. Its good to remember. That " we wrestle not with flesh and blood, ea other, but with demons, powers of darkness.in high places. In other words, a severely abused child can grow.up with such EMPTINESS that they become anti social, AND EVEN B POSSESSED, but a love awakening to GODS love thru mentors or human spirit guides, can make them see things to want to let go.of their power plays and games, IV met many criminals and alcoholics even in MY family who went to AA , NOT TO CHANGE. MAYBE JUST TO STAY FREE. OR FRM BOREDOM, who actually had a SPIRITUAL AWAKE NING and then DID let God change their HEARTS. I'm into self protection, sure !! But honestly, IV been down every road, and at age 66 th only high for me now is to do GODS work of LOVE, I am raising great grand children. I was SUCH a selfish narcissistic at age 20 !! GOD IS STILL TEACHING EVERY ONE OF US. EVEN RAPISTS IN PRISON, LIKE MY UNCLE, and th bible says Faith, HOPE, and th GREATEST OF THESE IS SIMPLY PURE LOVE. takes a lot
Sometimes to eve n.learn LOVE, Jesus knew we could never keep th law, th ten commandments. So He brought a NEW covenant fr.om father God or th Mult
VERSE, simple LlOVE, for if u LOVE ur neighbor, u are less likely to cheat, steal, kill, on.him !! I have Lotta HOPE now that I'm nearing death, I even have JOY, not th physical joy of a young person, but th SPIRITUAL joy of an old WISE soul NOW.
The narcissist and the
The narcissist and the psychopath is like Exodus in the bible, it is the end where Genisis begins ends Exodus.
So many sociopaths
As a young woman just out of college, I was beset by a number of sociopaths in my new workplace. My boss, who recruited a multitude of flying monkeys who provided surveillance of me while she was out of town--reporting back to her, even if they had to fabricate my movements. I have never gotten over that.
Can relate
I can so relate to this... if you suspect your partner or friend or parent is a narcissist / sociopath cut all contact ASAP... don't give them any personal information, don't give them anything. Move on and get on with your life especially if you have figured them out and they know it. They will say and do anything to destroy loving caring people. Which is ironic... they are destroying the very thing that they lacked and still lack and will always lack there by continue in their own self destruction. It's really sad. But I do believe any abuse is a choice. Weather it's committed by a sociopath or a drunk person who is usually fairly "normal" or a stable person who .. "cracks" I know we all have our limits and potentially we are all capable of horrendous things... (the nazis) being cruel or violent or aggressive is always a choice. Don't let these people off the hook by saying they were abused or they were hurt or they were this or that.... pretty much everyone I know has suffered some form of abuse. But most people are loving and kind and good.
Choose kindness people.....
I am always amazed that the
I am always amazed that the sociopath has so many people who believe them. In hindsight, I know that they have been slandering me for very long time while also pretending to be "friends". That is how I first noticed, people started avoiding me or i saw look of anger on their faces when i know i didn't do anything wrong. HCP - yep. This person had a BS story every other day (something major happened) and I caught them in lies all the time. I felt sorry for them. I was given the sob story. They continue to slander my name to this day and still seem to be effective doing so. they stalk me on social media under different names and will go to any length to destroy. I have moved (a city over) but clearly not far enough. I have lost most of the people in my life and my job. I have read hundreds of articles on this and still wonder if the people that were poisoned against me will ever learn the truth? Do sociopaths eventually get caught? I have some proof of this persons character but i'm not about revenge and would feel awkward showing emails and texts to people - it was easier to walk away. i didn't like the person i became - angry, depressed and became very physically ill.
I agree with Becca. Choose kindness!
when will we change
I’m 7 years in to having every moment of my life damaged and invaded by intrusive thoughts and nightmares from an abusive, lying, manipulative woman.
It’s been a path of discovery. I don’t think any doctor, neurologist, psychiatrist or psychologist is worth listening to, if, they aren’t honest and humble enough to admit this is an area we still know little about. Like many things. We have actually done a more efficient job oppressing science and making wrong diagnosis after wrong diagnosis. Society does it all over the place from “sin” tax’s to gambling promotions. To criminal justice. We life in and expanding scociopathing society and this mental illness is growing.
These stats are misleading, evil and dangerous. On what science or logic would one assume there are more male sociopaths? Because that’s the numbers you have?
There are many publications on how and why women scociopaths go unnoticed more in our society. Some of them written by the admitted sociopath themselves.
I also want to add that “psychology today” is upsetting. It seems to be the best way to find a doctor. I’m in Canada but across the nation it’s the best resource. These articles are so dangerously certain of themselves, while addressing an issue and audience so vulnerable to be misleaded and so desperate for answers.
Watch what the future hold. Wait for how much of this abuse is un acknowledged. How much ptsd or cptsd or betrayal trauma or whatever the flawed institutions call things they don’t yet fully grip. With lists that fell so assuring and dignified.
I’m not blaming them for not knowing. I’m blaming the ignorance. The self assurance. The ego of it all. Sounds a lot like what hurt me in the first place.
Breath.
to anyone suffering
Stop all thought of the abuse using every positive tool you can find. It didn’t happen for a reason. Karma most likely will not get them. Move on with what’s left. If you can. Many do and my guess is when obviously effective drugs like mdma, psilocybin are implemented and studied properly. There will be some relief to mental suffering. It happing rather fast right now. Decades too late and thousands most likely dead as a result.. But criminal negligence doesn’t apply to these institutions. They aren’t accountable. god help us.
A survivor of one
I had an experience with an female sociopath. She made me feel like I was the best thing that ever happened to her and she me feel I felt the same about her. We had weekends away, cosy nights in and everything seemed amazing. (I now know this was the idealisation phase) I then took her away on a dream holiday where she told me I was the "perfect gentleman" and that we had a great future together. When we got back from the holiday things suddenly changed. She was suddenly too busy to see me very often during the week and at weekends she never wanted to go anywhere. She then started to spend more and more time with her sponsor (she's supposedly an alcoholic) and would see me "when was suitable" (The dosing stage). Then out of the blue she brutally (in emotional terms) ended the relationship - just weeks after I'd taken her on holiday.
I was bewildered and terribly upset but strong enough never to call her once (I deliberately deleted her number). Then after 2 weeks the father of her youngest child contacted me through Facebook and explained her true nature. That she will have been constantly sleeping around and that there have been "hundreds" of men, has been the cause of a string of broken marriages and only goes to AA meetings to look for new victims. Also, that she keeps financially afloat by getting married having a child and then suing for divorce. She has 6 children by 5 fathers.
This helped me get over my emotional turmoil but I was left angry, and I still am a year later, that someone could be so callous, devious and utterly ruthless in what should be a trusting situation. I suspect she wanted to get married so she could fleece me financially - I was thankfully wary of that.
I'm just happy and proud that I never pursued her and that, apparently, she has never got her life back on track.
The mere fact that such people exist is frightening.
sociopath creates her own reality
Something she wants, and sees someone keeping it from her. She creates a scenario of blame, and perpetuates it, from criticism to threats. Even though it is not reality, she acts upon it, destroying the threat. Illusion to the victim; reality to the sociopath. Scary. Protect.
Parents
I have a mother who is an np father was a union organizer now retired. On his agreement to finance the setup period I started building a repair and design shop for electronics. Took a contract with a friend in another state who wasn't well knwon to me but paid to fly me out and let me and another friend stay another time. Over all has been true to his word and delivered what he said every time. Few months into setting up what I needed my childhood cat gets sick and I'm traveling to parents sleeping by him even if it means basement floor and then returning to apt to work. 2 months aftet he dies my apt becomes unbareable, 10months later their home is now mine again and tests positive for mold. I remediate one room to best I could do in attempt to have work space. Turns out it was the worst of it and I basicly sealed it up. 2 months past my work they hire another guy to do an air test right out side that room. Something like 1100 spores per cubic L when 1170 was end of normal range. I had removed all the moldy trim wiped walls and floor with 13 percent peroxide and vacuumed with central vac(ie filter might not catch it but it's exhaust is outside so as good as hepa) then painted over trouble spots wirh kills. Mold guy 2 wasn't informed. So my np mom who has been gaslighting 2 months now pretends not to be familiar with concept of a range. This was last april. Flash forward to right before thanks giving they manipulate geting me into a 72 hr hold where the doc won't let me have my phone to show him emails with the mold guy or exterminator at ill fated apt. Basicly hard proof of my claim is denied review by "patients arnt allowed phones on the ward" then he decides I'm paranoid skitzo with delusions of bugs and mold. I'll leave out how I got out but it was against his recommendation. I came to find out while I was in there and after like nine months gaslighting they had hired mold guy one to start ripping out 1500sq ft of carpet and pad and like 40ft of sheet rock insulation and even some studs. The longest wall was in my highschool room and that's where I sealed the problem and studs had to come out. They then decide to get me apt in city they chose and I'm currently stuck trying to remediate black mold over my head in the car I was given while they hold 15 k of my tools and things, all the parts for project I designed and had working prototype of for out of state friend and the parts needed to make use of the full face respirator I own. When I call 1 out of 10 times it might get answered and usualy starts by silence and then my dad insisting he said hello 2x. He will ignore non verbal coms like emails or sms/txt and derail deflect/run in circles for hours on end till I'm screaming then deflect wirh either he can't understand me when I'm screaming or doesn't like being screamed at. My mom will sometimes pick up and try to convince me that despite knowing mold was real I need meds because I'm always angrey and all my friends know I'm sick.. Then she plays same circles games he does. My dad has outright admited to lacking a conscience. On thanks giving the 30 year union vp claimed he pays me he owns me as well. All of which is recorded. They were my long time perminante address and held on to my health care renewal.. I know they opened it and most of my mail because when my 1st pet rabbit died in their care I asked for a day of peace a week later while at a hotel and geting torn into... I got sent a Pic of her ashes and know they came in a usps package addressed to me. So after holding health care they try to get me to sign a form giving them control of what they claim I couldn't manage and claim is the form to renew. Ie they went out and got the form to allow them to act on my behalf for health care decisions lie and tell me it's the form to renew. Assuming I'm so dumb I can't read. My dad even jokes about how most if what he does to me requires a lawyer (he doesn't know it but what he means is they are torts) save for 3 possible false imprisionement and the opening of my mail... I need someone with your description.. Ie mental health expert and lawyer because to even get A to B I'm stuck cleaning a car with out protective gear know ing what they created in my med record gives me more chance of geting months on an anti psychotic than a chest or head xray and anti fungles. That plus the liver damage risk makes them hesitate anyway. Of course this is worse comes to worse but even if I get through it I'm still left in an apt with a bed while they screw with 15k of my assets. Some of which have a shelf life all of which tech related and become obsolete as time marches. This is the condensed version and leaves out thigns like false police reports they created.
Any advice appreciated
myself
im scared for my life/ sociopath in my family
When the sociopath is your child
My daughter is reaching adulthood (age 19), and sociopathic behavior started when she was eight or so. Lying, stealing, lack of empathy, leaving a mess behind when she was done doing something. She also became increasingly physical; pushing, poking, light hitting, and "April fools" type things that could do real harm. She's been in therapy on and off, and on meds --- for ADHD. She is failing school, and will likely drop out or age out. Has attempted jobs, but leaves, blaming her supervisors, etc. No friends. One former friend, a thoughtful young man, contacted me and said that my daughter just "uses people." It is just the two of us in our home now. I carry pepper spray, which she knows about. That stopped the physical abuse. Nearly all doors in the house have keypad locks. My money and credit cards are locked away. Her drug use seems not to be an issue. But she is very emotionally abusive towards me. I am the target. I cannot trust anything she says, because she lies so often to me and everyone else (including her therapist). There's more, but hopefully the above provides a general picture. Someday she will move away. And as much as I love her, I need her out of the house. I am on edge whenever she is home (which is most of the time.) I have realized, however, her moving away will not protect me. Yes, I will change the locks. But she knows where I am, and will visit. Maybe we will spend tme together on trips, and I will continue to have to protect my wallet, credit cards, and myself. I want to be a part of her life for the remainder of my years because I love her. But at the same time I will need to be wary of what she might do. I could move, but it is much easier today to find someone who is trying to hide. And once I am found, her retaliation for trying to stay away from her will be fierce.
Daughter sociopathic?
Is it possible she has issues that are bothering her, and this 'acting out'--not unusual for teenagers--is because she does not know how to deal with her problems. Cognitive therapy, group therapy--would help. I recommend it.
This trend worries me a lot
Last i checked overwhelming majority of kids are born with empathy sympathy concience aka more or less neurotypical
And oe better sense of fair than adults .also theorized inate desire to please because big brain is a tradeoff for like 5 plus years helpless
Yet if u search...even this site seems to be edging in this "could they be "
Sure they could be...its waybdown on likely or first place to look list
What u said is way better
To add to it... stanford priown expeiment..abstract , ridgid enviroments no good. Kids are not kids starting 9 to 12 young adult is apropruate ar 14-16 but its increasingly being teen and kid are the same.
Media both saying disiplin because parent is god or slme variation and the fear route... bad grades must yell..
When stress and focusing on wrong never helped anyone nor does denying intelegence and trying to invade what should be personal boundries forming .
Im probably not gonna be around long but im really woeried aabout where we are headed. Laws are also set in some states where if the parents want to destroy a child even as an adult...im finding out they can report they feel threatened while i have them recorded claiming to own me admiting falsafied police reports... reason i moced back was 8 mo bleeding ended up being mold from their house 16mo later i go to hotel cause my moms screaming i need to be medicated and has surhety in a few days..i said hey dad...maybe her odds better if im gone for a week or 2? Boom locks changr police telling me i cant file theft i gave them ny stuff moving out.. im about to be homeless and holy hell i wisv rhat was ir
Best wishes to you
Hope you can get help from a psychologist--set some goals, don't look back--see what is in the future for you, and forget them. Build, build, build. So sorry to hear about your troubles.
Be determined that awful childhood will not define you as an adult. You have ability, brains, aptitude. Use those things to your own benefit.
LAW
As the sociopath is so dangerous to society why are there so many in positions of authority and power ? Their numbers are increasing exponentially and child abuse for specific reasons also.
Society and the planet will be damaged beyond repair unless these people are prevented from positions of authority. Social Services, Law, politics, Military, government, big business etc. So why is nothing being done ?
Brutality causes sociopathy
In some cases, as with Ted Bundy, it was incest that created the sociopath. But, as I survey the environment, I think brutality, abuse and neglect are the main causes. My own sister was an evil, dominating, brutal mother to her illegitmate child, and that child has grown into a sociopath, never having had a chance to develop into what she might have been. She was a beautiful child, able to achieve anything, but her mother broke her.