The Power of Attitude Inoculation
How parents can immunize their children against peer pressure and bullying
With the popularity of such television shows as 13 Reasons Why on Netflix, the topic of teen depression has seized the minds of parents — and for good reason: A recent study shows that the rate of major depression among teens (ages 12 to 17) increased 52% between 2005 and 2017, with as many as one in eight experiencing at least one depressive episode in the past 12 months. One explanation, of course, is the rise in cyberbullying, which is strongly linked to depression and suicidal thoughts in teenagers.
As these numbers have increased, parents and teachers have been struggling to insulate children from peer pressure and cyberbullying. Fights on the playground have given way to battle campaigns on social media. Taunts have become texts, tweets, and snaps. They’re omnipresent, and chances are most children will experience threats to their self-esteem as well as some form of bullying during their teenage years.
“You don’t deserve to live.”
“No one likes you.”
“You should just disappear.”
Experts on cyberbullying say that these messages affect mental health, and some teens eventually assimilate the verbal abuse into their self-image. How can parents and educators protect children against these attacks? Why can’t it be as simple as a vaccine to defend them against measles or polio?
Turns out, it might be.
There is an emerging field of research called attitude inoculation that has promising applications for parents and teens. The theory follows the model of vaccinations: A person’s attitude, belief, or self-esteem can be protected against future threats through exposure to a weakened version of that threat, similar to how vaccinations expose our bodies to attenuated viruses in order to build up antibodies that can fight off the real virus. In other words, a teen’s resilience to peer pressure and bullying could be strengthened and trained by gradual exposure to similar, weaker attacks in a safe environment.
Josh Compton, PhD, of Dartmouth College, is one of the leading researchers in the field of inoculation theory. “An inoculation message can prepare you so that the response is less ‘Oh no, a challenge!’ and more ‘Ah yes, I’m ready for this!’” he says. Learning to argue against small challenges and minor insults builds confidence against future attacks.
For example, if a teen is likely to be criticized or teased by a peer for refusing to drink or smoke at a party, parents could offer them a line of argument: “Kids who pick on others are compensating for their own insecurities.”
Providing children with an internal script they can use to protect their self-esteem against criticism, pressure, and bullying has long-term benefits. Compton says one promising study looked at children and parents who role-played to deal with peer pressure to smoke; these conversations resulted in lower rates of smoking. Middle schoolers who were given language to help them refute social pressures were less likely to take up smoking even 12 months later. The effect carried over to drinking and other drug use, suggesting that offering a framework for refuting one specific type of peer pressure helped fortify their resolve against others.
Later in life, if a bully tells a child they “should just disappear” or “don’t belong,” they already have practice standing up for their right to exist and take up space. A bully’s attacks will have less emotional impact.
Brainstorming arguments for taunts like “If you don’t party, you’ll be a loser forever” or “Snitches get stitches” are also effective forms of inoculation messaging. For example, providing children with anecdotal or statistical data about how many of their peers actually drink or smoke — as well as evidence that decreases the child’s confidence in the opinion of the bully — can help decrease the impact of future threats on the teen’s self-esteem.
Compton encourages parents to embrace inoculation messaging as part of an ongoing conversation with their children. And as annoying as it may be when parents say things like “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” evidence suggests that the more practiced kids are at answering that question, the less susceptible they will be to peer pressure later in life.
With this approach, parents can also guide a child’s response to conflict and aggression. For example, what parent hasn’t gone through a seating dispute in the car?
“That’s my seat. Move.”
“No. I was here first.”
Something as simple as allowing a child to defend their seat from older siblings is a gradual introduction to inoculation. “One doesn’t have to know and refute every possible challenge. Rising to and working through a few challenges protects against many challenges,” Compton says.
Later in life, if a bully tells a child they “should just disappear” or “don’t belong,” they already have practice standing up for their right to exist and take up space. A bully’s attacks will have less emotional impact.
The practice of walking children through future conflicts is not a new concept — for parents or researchers. “Mental health professionals have used similar tactics for years,” says clinical therapist Meghan O’Flynn. “When a parent or a teacher tells a child that it’s okay to be different, they are inoculating them against bullies who might later make fun of these differences. Dropping smaller beads of wisdom throughout the years allows a child to absorb each into their worldview and is far more effective than a teenage-years lecture.”
A child who dresses for school will be less likely to feel anxious if someone teases them about their outfit if they have practiced debating those choices with their parents.
“What made you decide to wear the leopard-print cat ears with the pink feather boa?”
“They’re both soft.”
When the child is older and someone says, “You look ridiculous,” their emotional immune system will be more equipped and trained to neutralize threats to their individuality.
By reinforcing positive inoculation messaging, parents can provide some protection against the types of pervasive bullying and negativity that has long-term costs to the health and safety of their children.